Friday, 16 November 2012

Is Pregnancy A Prerequisite For Marriage?

Genevieve(not her real name) suddenly found out she was pregnant. @ 27 you would think she would be happy but she isn't and not even thinking of marriage. Her folks thinks she should own up and marry the 'father' but the Question is; Is pregnancy a prerequisite for marriage?
I am a christian who believes that the bed should be undefiled till that night (must say fulfilling it is another thing) but then why get pregnant if you don't want to marry the man in question? A lot of people have turned sex as a game and see it as a means of exercising while some see it as a way of 'convincing' each other they are in love! He! He! He! I laugh in Greek!
Personally, I feel as an individual, you should be able to know what you want. Why give your body to someone you don't want to risk being with? In the 60's 80's,70's in Africa, it was seen as a taboo for a lady not to be a virgin not to mention her getting pregnant before wedding but now, men believe they must "test and confirm" the woman they want to marry cos they feel most ladies "don't have wombs" forgetting they may also have" low sperm counts" due to the many times they have practiced.
Well now you are pregnant! And u don't think you love the guy enough for marriage. What would you do?

  • Marriage?
  •  Be a single mother ? or 
  • Be a coward and wicked person by aborting?
Below are steps I think you should take:

1) Accept that the deed is done and yes cry and be ashamed of yourself that you are foolish for not preventing it.

2) Call the "man" and have a heart to heart talk with him about the product you two have manufactured.

3) He may be shocked and unprepared as u too are so be very calm ow you manage it. Cos you are the one who is pregnant. Prayerfully(yes cos that's what u need now) ask God for wisdom and start rescheduling your future plans if you have one and if you don't you have you better start thinking of one.

4) Per adventure the man says he wants you to " abort" Do not. And I repeat DO NOT take an innocent life. Accept your fate and love that unborn child. There is nothing wrong in being a single mother.Its better than being in a loveless marriage. And most of the time, that man would come begging. But  more importantly, your conscience is clear.

5) Tell your parents the decision you and your "man" have reached. Yes they would talk. Yes they would say they are disappointed in you. Yes they might even disown u. where you expecting they would give you a pat for a job well done be done? *yinmu* Calmly take the insults. Most of the time they would accept you.

6) Register in an ante natal clinic and embrace this gesticulation period.

7) If you and the man both love and want to spend the rest of your lives with each other, kindly make it civil. The family engagement and importantly YOU MUST GO TO THE REGISTRY! Safe to be the legal wife. *wink*

8) If you and your man don't love each other enough to marry. Then still be friends.Respect each other and maybe just maybe, one day you two may end up together.

9) Adoption: Yes adoption. Not common in my part of the world (Africa) but you can help save a family with that child. have a meeting with the couple who probably dont have a child to call their own, call a lawyer and some child care agency. you could reach an agreement with the family that you want your child to know you are the mother and that you love him / her so much and cos you can't take take of him/her you gave him out.


Babies are blessings but I also know everything is meant to be planned for. Don't marry someone out of pity, If u are strong willed, then try and practice abstinence. But if you are not, please be sure it is with a right person. Have value for your body.

To all ladies and even men, please let's all respect and value our selves. Marriage which has love as the main ingredients in it has other factors. Divorce, creates emotional instability...  Love genuinely...

.... larakingz

1 comment:

  1. I quite agree with u Lara. God bless u. Some mother-in- laws sometimes insist dat their daughter-in-law be pregnant before marriage. Whatever reason they have cannot be genuine because the same girl could miscarry the pregnancy after the wedding and everyone get back to square one.