Friday, 5 October 2012

Akpos... The name used in most comedy jokes now.

 Akpos is a name used by people from the Niger Delta and though I tried to find out the meaning but.. Nways, the jokes created using akpos name are very hillarious and I thought I should share

Akpos thought that LOL means 'LOTS OF LOVE' So he wrote an SMS To his girlfriend saying 'Dear, i'm sorry about the death of your mum. LOL."X_X

Akpos went for church service and stole the church wall clock after d service. He was caught and was asked why he did that, he responded by saying that pastor preached that God's time is d best

It happened in a hospital in Warri, Delta State ... Intensive Care Unit (ICU) patients died, in the same bed, every Sunday at 3pm. Doctors thought it was something supernatural. So, a team of experts was formed to Investigate the cause or causes. The following Sunday, few minutes before 3pm, all doctors & Nurses stood around that particular bed waiting to see what it was. Then suddenly Akpos (Part time sweeper) entered the ICU, unplugged the Life Support system of that Bed & then plugged his blackberry charger.

AKPOS: Uncle,will u take me to Tantalizers Fast Food this Independence weekend??? UNCLE: Only if u can spell it. AKPOS: Don't worry about Tantalizers again Uncle,take me to KFC instead ..

Akpos told his friends he was going to the airport on his way to Abuja 30mins later he is back and his friends looked at him and asked what happened?

Akpos: When I reach dat junction I see one signboard wey dem write say “ AIRPORT LEFT” e b like say the airport don go

Teacher: What is d surname of Lazarus dat Jesus rose from d death?
Teacher: Why did u say dat?
Akpos: Read ur bible carefully sir, when Jesus called Lazarus he included his surname
Teacher: How?
Akpos: He called with a loud voice saying

Akpos was being chased by 2 men for one of his numerous crimes. Akpos ran into d forest and d men followed akpos into d forest. Akpos got into d forest climbed a tree. D 2 men got to d tree where akpos was and did not know where he ran into, angrily one of d men said dis boy don escape again. D other man said no worry I know if I call his name 3 times he must answer. Akpos laugh from d tree and said to d men hahahaha if u like call my name from now till next year I no go answer you. Do u fink akpos is truly a mumu?

Akpors was sick, so d doctor gave him a tablet, he started cutting the side of the tablet, The doctor, astonished, asked: y are u cutting the side? Akpors replies: "2 avoid d side effects"=))

Dear Aunty Dolly,
I am 23 years old and haven't had my period. My little sister - Eferurobo is 17 years old and has had her period since she was 13. I'm ashamed to talk about it to my friends because I don't know if I have a problem of developing slowly......... Or does it take longer when you are a boy?
Yours faithfully


One day akpos's wifie came back early from her office. SHe was shocked to see Akpos with another woman.
sHe told him to go out of the room.
Then she said to the woman,
"what are you doing here?" the woman replied "I love Akpos & he loves me too.”
To this the wifie said "I know that my hubby loves me & not you." After a long conversation they decided "well lets hold our guns & fire at each other & pretend to be dead.
he will mourn the woman he loves the most & the other person will get out of their lives."
Akpoz heard the gunshots, he came into the room, shocked and surprised, stood staring at both the dead bodies. Suddenly he started laughing out loudly, rejoicing and shouted
"WoOo Modino get out of that wardrobe, these 2 idiots are dead now!”
=)) L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳
Akpos walked into a bar and aggressively shouted out his order to the bar man, “Abeg give me 250g of steak with chips and then give everyone a 500g steak and chips as well because when I eat, I want everybody else to eat!”

The bar man processed his request and gave him and everyone else their meals. When they finished enjoying their meals Akpos shouted out another order: “Give me a bottle of Brandy (Mellow Wood) and give everybody else a bottle of Whisky (Johnny Walker Black Label) because when I drink, I want everybody else to drink!”

Everyone was happy and singing Akpos’s praises saying Akpos is “The Main Man”. When Akpos finished his drink he shouted again: “Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill because when I pay for my meals and drinks, I want everyone else to pay for theirs!”

Akpos's funeral will be held this Saturday...


Akpos swallows one of his owner's viagra tablet. His owner got upset and puts him in the deep freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds akpos sweating. "How come you are sweating?" The owner asked.» Akpos replies, »"Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?=D :D =D

Ahmed, Ola and Akpors were lost in aforest and then they werecaptured by cannibals.→ The king of the cannibals toldthe prisoners that they could liveif they pass a trial.→ The 1st step was to go deepinto the forest and get ten (10)pieces of the same kind of fruits.→ The three men went theirseparate ways to gather fruits.* Ola came back andsaid to the king, "i brought ten (10) apples",then the king explained the trialto him, 'you have to swallow thefruits without any expression onyour face or you will be killed.→ The 1st apple went in, but onthe 2nd one, he winced out inpain, so he was killed.→ Ahmed arrived andshowed the king ten (10) berries.When the kingexplained the trial to him, hethought to himself that thisshould be easy....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth(9th) berry, he burst out inlaughter and was killed.→ The Ola and Ahmed met in heaven.** Ola asked, "whydid you laugh?", you almost gotaway with the trial"....*** Ahmed replied, "icouldn't help it, when i saw Akpors coming withWatermelons!!!
Akpos has started again Oº°˚˚°ºh.........
Akpos goes τ̅☺ T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ post office, he buys an envelope from T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ cashier and then screams into envelope.
T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ cashier asks him, "why Α̲̅я̩ε̲̣ U̶̲̥̅̊ screaming I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ envelop"?
Akpos answers, "I am sending ą̸̸̨ voice mail" lol!!!=)) =))


In a Chemistry class: Teacher says: name one type of gas u know. John:- Oxygen gas Chris:- Nitrogen gas Peter:- Hydrogen gas ; Akpos:- Tear gas! Teacher (angry): Akpos, u have one more chance or u'll be punished. Akpos (thinks hard....):- Fabregas!!

Akpos saw his parents in bed enjoying their marital right. So he asked. Daddy, what
are you doing? His father replied, 'I am beating your mummy'

Akpos thought for a while with sad face and said Mama, but what offence at all have you committed in this house?

Today, four different men have beaten you. First, was the gate man Aliyu, then Idris our house boy, that vendor that sold Newspaper to dad also beat you and now daddy. WHYYY??? Mama u must be stubborn oooo!

Akpos is currently staying with his aunt Sophie at the moment. His dad is behind bars for murder and His mom's burial has been fixed for next weekend


A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man , and tells the driver. Do you want to Earn N50,000 right away?. The driver excitedly says what do I have to do? Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of her. After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair , while kicking and beating her and puts her in the Taxi. and the husband says to him, " This is not my wife" the Akpors the driver replied " Nooooo , this is mine, hold her for me. I'm going for yours"!

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